Worship songs play -
"There's Salvation in the Gavel" - Choir
"The Gavel on the Hill" - Dixie Chicks
"Feelings Matters Most" - Choir

Welcome once again! As you already know, I am Sammy Socialist and once again, it's time for another liberal sermon to make you feel good. Just like our choir sang just moments ago, feelings matter most, and you will leave here today feeling.

What a beautiful day! It's been snowing in Malibu, raining in the desert, and not snowing where it's supposed to! Proof that there's global warming? Come to think of it, no matter what the weather's doing, it's a great cause to talk about global warming. It's beautiful everyday, although I do wish we could have hurricanes in Kansas and wipe those conservatives out.

In announcements, our missionaries in Afghanistan and Iraq have successfully committed 7,232 acts of protest against Bush's Islamic Holocaust. Over one hundred more since we last met. They are keeping up the fantastic work! lLet's not forget, they did help us get back the House and Senate, we ought to reward their efforts by getting out of Iraq! Please keep the insurgents in your prayers. And, as always, please donate when the plate is passed around.

Our scientist have made some more discoveries about cheese that you need to be aware of. It does indeed contain DHMO but it is still undetermined if it's cancer causing or not. More importantly, eating cheese may cause constipation. Even worse than that, the Fat Cats in the big fast food industry have been systematically encouraging people to add this dangerous and fat causing product to their meals at an additional price! Our attorneys are now investigating to see if they suppressed this information from their customers victims.

And finally we have great news! We have discovered, through research and panels, that we could help put a stop Christian Right Violence if we start at a very young age. The movement is beginning in California by Sister Sally Lieber of Mountain View. Just think of the future without the Christian Right violence. No more abused children, no more wars in Iraq, no war for oil, and no children dying at the hands of Republican violence. Only peace.

We'll now pass the plate whilst the children sing us a song of inspiration.

Let us bow our head and pay our taxes. Oh Holy Spirit Che Guevara, we thank you for showing us the way, that no man shall pass through the gates of socialism. We ask that you take away our dignity as we say whatever we need to say in order to be true to our liberalism. Oh Lord Che, strip our wretched hearts of selfish desires that would cause us to think outside of your will. Give us the wisdom to understand that the ends of socialism justifies the means, no matter what they be.

In your name, we ask. From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

♪♫ 'Her fist wraps the gavel, it's for the child' ♫
♫ 'She fights, it's our fight, don't be mild' ♫♪
♪♫ 'Let him hang, let him hang, and Bush Cheney too' ♫
♫'Too have it all, kill Republicans through and throoooouugh!'♫♪

Wow, don't you just love the voices of children? Nobody knows how to listen to the voices of children better than the Sisters and Saints that are on missionary trips in the great Holy land of Washington DC. Sister Nancy Pelosi of Baltimore and Saint Harry Reid of Nevada have been working hard to pass legislation. They've passed new Holy documents in only forty two hours.

That's forty two hard fought hours over a long three week period. They slaved an entire 42 hours for three consecutive weeks. I know that's hard for many of you to believe and it did need to be repeated. None of you work 42 hours in three weeks. Many of our professional daytime talkshow host rarely put that much time into cleaning their own homes over the course of a year, much less in three weeks. But the Republicans left the house in such a mess that Sister Nancy Pelosi of Baltimore had to break out the whips and chains, to get the men to do anything.

Oh and did Sister Nancy Pelosi of Baltimore ever make the Saints work. Let me tell you, the bigger the Holy bill, the more moving she would make the Saints do. I had a couple of the Saints, Che bless their hearts, tell me how frustrated they were when it seemed that Sister Nancy Pelosi of Baltimore couldn't decide if she wanted the Holy Bill in the Committee or on the House floor to be voted on. Women, some things never change. Can I get a 'from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs'?

I hear some of you mumbling and grumbling out there because you think I am talking bad about women. Remember, I am Reverend Sammy Sosalist, I am a liberal, so nobody can criticize me for being politically incorrect. 'Honour thy Saint and thy Sister: that thy days in congress may be long upon the land which the LORD Che thy God giveth thee'. It is written in the ten commandments. If you start criticizing the Saints and Sisters for how they do their missionary work, you open the door for the Republican Demons to reclaim our Holyland. No matter how much you disagree with your Sisters and Saints, never, ever criticize them. Just agree with them.

Back to the hard work that Sister Nancy Pelosi of Baltimore and Saint Harry Reid of Nevada have been doing in the Holyland. One of the key legislations out there has been honoring the work of the Lord Che, Saint Castro, Saint Chavez, Saint Lenin, and Saint Stalin. How were they so successful? They didn't let criticism get in the way of achieving their goals. They silenced the opposition.

Saint Harry Reid of Nevada, along with the Sisters and Saints of the Senate, have passed an 'ethics reform'. Let me ask you folks something, how ethical is it to criticize your Saints and Sisters who are doing the work of Lord Che for the children? How ethical is it to prevent our Saints and Sisters from getting food to the mouths of little children, or medicines to the elderly? Your criticism does just that.

This is why ethics reform is so important and why we needed to get it passed as soon as possible. George 'Warmonger' Bush hath sent his demons forth to keep our Sisters and Saints from doing their job. Just as they did when Saint Bill Clinton of Arkansas served as a missionary in the White House, the George 'Warmonger' Bush hath sent forth his demons.

What does the Demon Ann Coulter do besides throw insults at your Sisters and Saints? Has she ever done? Sure she's beautiful and I even heard that Saint Bill Clinton of Arkansas would love to spend a few hours of quiet time teaching her about the glories of Che, but what hath she done? Hopefully Saint Bill Clinton of Arkansas can shed the beautiful demon of her evil armor and reach deep into her soul, but the challenge is so great. Saint Bill Clinton of Arkansas has asked us to pray for him that someday he might be able to do just that.

Ann Coulter the Cruel isn't the only demon that George 'Warmonger' Bush hath sent forth. Beautiful but extremely demonic minority women have also been doing the work of George 'Warmonger' Bush. It's been tough fighting them and we almost were successful in reaching into their arsenal from hell, but we did accomplish some things. Once we take out the lions we'll be able to go into the jungle and eliminate the rest of 'warmonger's'demons of war. Be patient, we'll take the rest out soon.

Folks, it's time to get home and remember the commandments, especially 'Honour thy Saint and thy Sister: that thy days in congress may be long upon the land which the LORD Che thy God giveth thee'. It's important to understand that which you don't agree with. The Sisters and Saints are working hard for the children and the ends always justifies the means. If we tell you to vote for a yellow dog, you do so. A yellow dog is always better than a Republican, if that yellow dog is a Democrat. If you can vote for a yellow dog, you can throw your so called dignity out the window and do what we tell you to do, and say exactly what we tell you to say. Let's bow our head in prayer

Holy Spirit of Che, we bow our heads to you this day to ask you to give our sheep the willingness to follow your ways. Give them the wisdom to understand that if they must lie, cheat, or steal, that it's all good, if it's in your name. Give them the strength and will to change their beliefs when not in accordance with the will of the Sisters and Saints you have put before them. Whatever it takes, the ends will justify your means. Lord Che, your will be done, on earth it's socialism.

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.

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