Worship songs play -
"Patria Libre O Morir!" - Choir
"Socialista, Amor de Mi Corazon" - Los Rojos Negritos
"Hugo Chavez Eres Mi Todo" - Choir

Welcome to the Liberal church! I am Reverend Sammy Sosalist and I am filling in tonight. You may already know me from our Monday Night Bible Study.

In announcements, our missionaries in Afghanistan and Iraq have successfully committed 4,815 acts of protest against Bush's Islamic Holocaust. It was a decent week as there were 49 more successful protests! Please keep the protestors of Bush's Islamic Holocaust in your prayers.

In other announcements, we, here at the liberal church, are looking for a permanant Reverend to lead our ministry of Deminsanity. We shall look high and low, before we settle on somebody.

Let us bow our head and make a tax payment. Oh Holy Spirit Che Guevara, Thank you for this miserable day. When we woke up this morning the sun was shining and we were upset that George Bush caused so much sunshine because he's trying to give us all skin cancer. You put a roof over our heads to protect us. We are grateful to be under your great umbrella of protection. May you provide us with buses to take us to vote so we can have angels in office that takes from another and gives to me. We ask this of you, O Holy Spirit Che Guevara.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

While the taxplate gets passed around, Dia Verde will sing us Himno Nacional Americano! I understand that there is a special message towards the end that Dia Verde added.

Wow Dia Verde, amazing song. That was genius of you to say Bush is Hitler. It almost blew my socks off! I thought I was the only one to realize Bush is just like Hitler. Those of you in the congregation, please don't do you research, just believe us.

Before we move on with the sermon, I want to tell you a couple of things about the music you just heard. You may have heard of an American band called 'Green Day'. Well, this group of undocumented working musicians came to America looking for a better way of life, free healthcare, and a nice fat welfare check. Then one day they saw Green Day and decided to form a band named after them, Dia (Day) and Verde (Green) and they are now trying to steal Green Day's day job. A true liberal inspiration.

Also, isn't it so wonderful that now hispanics can now sing the National Anthem? We are currently working on a Chinese version, a Portugese version, a Japanese version, a North Korean as well as a South Korean version, a German version, an Italian version, a French version, a Canadien French version, a Bulgarian version, a Vietnamese version, an Arabic version, and many other versions.

We are also working on a Muslim version of God Bless America (Allah Bless America) and even a more sensitive and tolerant version titled Allah Bomb America for the passionate Muslims.

I think free speech is an important part of living in America, can I get a 'From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs'?

We have a right to stand up to this administration and tell them to shut their mouths or else! Or else we are going to follow their every footstep until we find something to prosecute them all! It's free speech to call Karl Rove in front of a Grand Jury as many times as possible because he says things that contradict the Deminsanity view. I promise you we will prosecute Karl Rove on something because he opposed Democrats too many times!

We'll get to him, just like we did Tom Delay! Tom Delay as been a thorn in moving our policies forward ever since he came to Washington so he deserves to go to jail. He should rot there in prison where he'll be manhandled by prison thugs all day and all night. It doesn't matter if he broke the law! What matters is that he opposed us! How dare he ever speak out against your Democrat Gods?!?

We finally have a mug shot on Rush Limbaugh! It took us a while but I really think we are getting good at this. We had to search long and hard but finally, we found something. Normally we'd let him get by with rehab and drop the case, but he's a Republican so he should suffer to the full extent of the law. In fact, we ought to double the punishment for him because he's a Republican, and then double it again because he's a Christian. I'm so sick of Christians shoving their moral values down my throat. Every movie that I see has Christians shoving their moral values down my throat!

I saw a movie the other day and a Christian didn't believe in murder in this movie. I was so upset that I demanded my money back! How dare they show a movie without murders! Stupid Christians always shoving their moral values down our throats. If everybody would just live their life like we told them to, the world would be so much better.

Sheesh, I hate them Christians forcing their moral values of love onto me! Just the thought of Christians makes me so angry that I, well I just wish we had a whole lot more prosecutors out there to find something, anything they can, to shove all the Christians into prisons. I know they have done something illegal. We make room in our prisons by letting all the drug dealers go free, and free the Tookie Williams's of the world.

It's just not fair that Republicans are allowed to have free speech so they can shove their moral values down our throats! What do they do with it anyway? Tell our children not to have sex? It's our right to tell our children to have sex just as long as they wear condoms. In fact, it's our duty to tell all children to wear a condom. It's our duty to give children of Christian parents condoms because their parents won't. All Christians need to do is realize that our way of life is better and start living like we tell them too.

It's up to us, the liberals in America to save the children. If it's not for us, who will tell children what they can eat? If it's not for us, who's going to teach children to tolerate everybody except Christians? It's liberals that know right from wrong and it's our duty to make sure everybody knows what right and wrong, or those Christians will shove their moral values down their throats!

Ooh those Christians get my blood boiling. Just the thought of them gets me heated up. Why can't Christians be about love your nieghbor? Why can't they be for tolerance? Christians just don't have the tolerance that we have. I hate Christians so much that the thought of them gets me off my sermon.

I want to get back to free speech. Free speech is something that is available to everybody. We at the Liberal church firmly believe in free speech as long as you agree with us. If you ever get confused about what you are supposed to say, just watch the Sunday morning talk shows, the news, or any of your Democrat Gods and you will be fine. I must warn you though, if any of you stray to far from what you are supposed to say, just think about how we searched and searched until we finally got Tom Delay and Rush Limbaugh. You don't want to be next.

Let us bow our heads and don't forget your tax payment. Oh Holy Spirit Che, thank you for your divine sense of right and wrong. Help us lead our nation into a world that we think is best for everybody to live in. Fill their wicked hearts to accept right and wrong as we see it. Holy Spirit Che Guevera, we worship you.

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.

You may come forward now and seek redemption by clicking on the link that says St. Jude.

Last Weeks Sermon (XIII)