First Church of Democrats
Bringing liberals closer to God since 2006
proudly talking liberalism in the bible belt

Worship songs play -
"America the Terrible" - Choir
"Gimme Shelter (from the Bush Administration)" - The Rolling Stones
"Taking down that Nazi Bush!" - Choir (Julian Bond - lead vocals)

Eeeaaayaaaa! That's one of my favorite songs! It gets my blood boiling and I realize how important our work is so much so that it brings tears to my eyes. Anyway, welcome to the First Church of Democrats and we are so happy that you made it today! I'm the Revrund Blowhard Dean. You may have noticed that smell coming out of my mouth. As you already know, my father is the Bull-God 'Apis' or more commonly known as Taurus. So as you sit through today's sermon, you will continue to smell that because whenever I talk, it just naturally smells like B.S.

Many people asked me, 'why didn't we have church last week?'. That's a very good question, but Saturday was a busy day for us. We had a report that black helicopters dropped invisible ninja's off at our compound so we spent the day searching for spy technology. This Bush administration doesn't respect freedom. He's worse than Adolf Hitler. Ask any of our Democratic Deacons, they'll re assure you that Bush is a Nazi. We had it cleared up by Sunday, but having a Democrat Church on Sunday just wouldn't do since that would be too Christian. Besides, as long as you know what to say, you will make it too our socialist heaven!

Just a couple of announcements today, first, our missionaries in Afghanistan and Iraq have successfully committed 4,158 acts of protest against Bush's Islamic Holocaust. Please keep the insurgents in your prayers and please donate when the plate is passed around.

Also, Tornados tore through New Orleans early Thursday morning. It's been well over 48 hours and Kathleen Blanco has yet to ask the Bush administration for Tornado relief. This can be a huge benefit to our party and our religion if she can distract Bush with an new argument over how much relief needs to be spent. I'm begging the congregation to put pressure on Kathleen Blanco to demand at least 65 billion dollars from the Bush administration for New Orleans tornado relief. It's absolutely incredible that she hasn't taken advantage of this situation yet. What is she thinking?

Finally, it's very important that we send good vibes to the Seattle Seahawks in Sunday's game. Whenever a left winger wins, we all win. Seattle is on the left coast and Pittsburgh is lost somewhere on the Right side. Also, the Seahawks wear blue. If you are a true blue stater, a yellow dog Democrat, you will cheer for the Seahawks. If any of you are caught cheering for the Steelers, you will be condemned as anti-American and we will file a report to the FBI that you have been taking part in terrorist activity. It is terrorism to oppose the Democrats!

We'll now pass the plate whilst Kanye West sings a song in the memory of Coretta Scott King. For those of you who have yet to return your unwanted tax refund, you may do so now.

Let us bow our head and make a payment. Father Taurus, we know that the time hath come that ye shalt send thy holy child to walk among us once again. Blessedeth is us to have been in your guidance, and that of the Holy Spirit, Che Guevara. We ask that you send more guidance, so that we may be great socialist. Let us not be tempted with selfish monetary desires such as tattoos, piercings, drugs, or alcohol. Bless us with the desire to give whole-heartedly with other people's money. Let us rise up in with compassion and force other people to give as we see fit for them to give. Oh great father, give us the wisdom to take a proper amount from other people so that we may live healthy lives.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

♪♫ 'Bush hates New Yorkers, he knowed before 9-11' ♫
♫♫ 'Two towers down, Bush ain't gonna heaven' ♪
♪♫ 'In 2000, he wouldn't count our vote' ♫
♫'In Nawlins, he wouldn't send my people a boat!'♫♪
♪♫ 'Yeah we all know, Bush hates people of color' ♫
♫♫ 'yeah kill the Iraqis, they da wrong color' ♪
♪♫ 'minorities wait for the red phone to ring' ♫
♫'Bush blowed us all up, cuz he thinks he's a king!'♫♪

Eeeeiiiiaaaayyyyaaaa! Whoa! Wow! Ladies and gentlemen, Kanye West! Wow, that brought tears to my eyes brother Kanye! Breathe taking song, and the words were so right on! Eeeeiiiaaayaaaa!

Many people have suggested that we are unreasonable people and not the true moderates that we all know we are. Let me ask you this, would an extremist or unreasonable person call people names like those in the Nazi Bush Administration do. We don't falsely accuse people of being something their not like the Rich white Christian, extremist, anti-poor, anti-worker, anti-freedom, racist, facist, Nazi, homophobic, hatemongering, Republicans do. Saddam Hussien, need I say more? Here is a nice President who took good care of his people and Bush made up a bunch of lies about weapons of mass destruction and 9-11 just to get even with Hussien for daddy Bush. Next they'll start a war with France, Germany, England, or maybe even Mars! Eeaaiiiyyaaa!

The Democratic party is a party of reason. We don't condemn Bush for doing one thing, or another. Bush's policies have been all over the map! Immediately after 9-11, Bush wanted to do nothing about it. When he first found out about it, he tried to hide behind a children's book. What kind of coward hides behind children books while the nation is being attacked? Then he figured it wasn't safe enough to hide behind children so he got into his airplane and flew around all day. Unfortunately for that idiot, he would eventually run out of gas and have to land.

We were able to put enough pressure on Bush administration to go get Osama, but we should have known Bush would be too much of an anti-American coward to go after Osama. He went after weak nations like Afghanistan and Iraq! I guess he wanted to show the world that he wasn't the same coward as he was on 9-11. So he hastily went unilaterally into Iraq, with no help from any nation.

The Nazi, facist, coward, Bush selfishly went into Iraq, killing thousands of children all for oil. I'm sure that gold star mothers like Cindy Sheehan would rather have their sons back than to see Bush lining the pockets of his oil buddies!

Unfortunately this idiot, coward, racist, nazi, facist Republican, like all Republicans, hates the poor, the sick, the minorities, the working class, and muslims. They are actively seeking the extermination of all that oppose them. They senselessly torture people in their concentration camps for Muslims protestors.

They've taken over the press. The press was calling our Muslim protesters as terrorist, but fortunately they reduced it to insurgents. Still, it's our duty to our fellow protestors to keep the pressure on the facist right winged media to change the term 'insurgent' into 'Iraqi protestors' or at least, 'Muslim protestors'

Republicans are intolerant of every single one of our values! They can not be reasoned with. How can we ever expect to reason with people that are intolerant of our views? Republicans are filled with hate! Hate is never something you would see from a Democrat! Our party is a party that is full of good will towards our fellow man.

Those facist, Nazi, Neo-con, racist, Republicans are full of hatred towards everybody and it's the Democrat party protects the environment, civil liberties, free speech, freedom of religion (except for Christian conservatives) and the economy.

We have a plan, there is a better way! Our plan will save America from the Bush administration! Our plan is a better way than the way the facist, neo-con, Nazi, Republicans have led us.

We can not tell you the secrets of our plan, our better way, because the Bush administration will attack it as being pro-terrorist and use it against us to do even more spying on our church than they already have. But as any 'Yellow Dog Democratic Loyal Minion' will tell you, any plan is better than the Republicans. Republicans are just unreasonable, for the rich, against the poor, racist, neo-con, facist, Nazis! Don't trust them no matter what happens.

Bush will tell you that the Patriot act has prevented more terrorist attacks but that is a flat out lie. The reason we haven't had a terrorist attack in our country is that the terrorist see that most Americans want peace! They look at their televisions and see all the war protestors out there exercising their patriotism and Osama respects that! He doesn't want to attack innocent people here in the United States because he knows we are peace loving! We know, just as Osama knows that it's Bush who wants to kill innocent women and children and it's up to Osama to protect the children. Stand up for peace! Stand against the Bush administration! Vote Democrat! Besides, it's easier than getting a job.

Let us bow our heads and don't forget your payment. Holy father Taurus, we ask of you the divine guidance for those here today that have not sought out your salvation. Maybe you've strayed away from socialism and found yourself buying into Bush's lie about patriotism. You know better than to believe a Republicans. Look at your soul, you can feel it rotting away by listening to anything Bush says. Don't waste your valuable time listening to a Republican. Have faith in your Democratic Gods! We are your Gods, Bush Democrats, it's time for you to come back home. Seek Salvation, in the name of the holy spirit, Che Guevara.

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.

You may come forward now and seek redemption by clicking on the button that says Pay Pal.

Last Weeks Sermon (II)